Brooke Walker grew up in an Arizona church community. Families, side by side, in communion with God and each other.
But the church, she says, was actually a cult.
Walker spent her formative years, since age 8, in the group. She says it was a place where members were unable to question leaders "without facing backlash." Where children could sometimes choose different parents to live with. Where everyone would seek advice from a medium who claimed to channel a 15th-century Englishman.
Bethany Joy Lenz, too, didn't realize she was in a religious cult. She was just hanging out with a group of like-minded friends who didn't judge her faith. The group ultimately cost her a major career opportunity, millions of dollars and years estranged from her loved ones.
When exactly does a group go from organized religion to cult? It's murky; the American Psychological Association says a cult is "a religious or quasi-religious group characterized by unusual or atypical beliefs, seclusion from the outside world and an authoritarian structure." But chances are, if you have to ask the question, you're probably in one.
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Why are religious cults specifically tricky to untangle from? Many are drawn to the spiritual connection to a higher power.
"Religious cults are most likely to hook us because we give spiritual leaders more trust, believing they follow a moral code and it also provides an instant community and the promises of spiritual safety and a relationship with God," says Rachel Bernstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist and cult specialist.
'Bible study went sideways':Bethany Joy Lenz of 'One Tree Hill' on how she got into a cult
As a child, Walker didn't have much of a choice in her family's decision to join the group and follow its teachings. She didn't leave for decades. She details in her podcast "How to Leave a Cult" how the church effectively took over a small town in the mountains, started a school and combined Christian and Hindu practices in a non-denominational setting while requiring members to attend the medium's "trances."
"The group's spiritual principles were deeply interwoven with daily life, fostering an environment where questioning leadership was seen as disruptive and unwelcome," Walker says. "Any doubts or questions were framed as a lack of faith or a betrayal of their beliefs."
Those who did ask questions, Walker claims, "were met with gaslighting and sometimes even physical abuse."
She remains shocked by how many people have shared similar experiences with her about their own trauma. "There's a lot of people that are walking around incredibly affected by some version of religious abuse," she says. Walker is not aware whether the group still exists.
Lenz, of "One Tree Hill" fame, spent 10 years in a religious cult she calls the "Big House Family." She considers her childhood with divorced parents a key motivator for why she sought out the ill-fated community. (The "Big House Family" is a pseudonym.)
What exactly happened? It started out as bible study with a group of artists. But the group slowly pried her away from loved ones including her parents; the leader quashed her dreams of playing Belle in "Beauty and the Beast" on Broadway after telling her it wasn't a good idea; the group's financial managers spent $2 million of her money on risky investments leaving her effectively broke. Incessant whispers broke out on the "One Tree Hill" set and splattered across the entertainment industry. She married the cult leader's son – even though she knew he wasn't the right man for her – and gave birth to a daughter.
The "Big House Family" preyed on her insecurities, she says. "Cults tailor their recruitment strategies to align with what potential members are seeking," says psychologist Natalie Feinblatt.
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If this is sounding familiar to you, take precautions:
Remember, too, there are healthy ways to practice religion. To that end, you should be able to take a break. "Any reasonable group or leader will allow for this without attacking or stigmatizing someone," says Rick Ross, founder and executive director of the Cult Education Institute. Lenz adds: "There should be no danger in exploring other perspectives."
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